Broken

I can't understand why it is so difficult. How can something that makes you happy turn you into miserable from one day to the other? How can it come so bad? How possibly can... Whatever. Maybe it is me. Maybe I'm just not made for this. Like, maybe I should never again get to trust anyone because deceiving is so easy and I'm so sick of feeling decieved and left down. I can not stand this anymore. It is making me weak. Weak again. I'm getting lost. I'm lost. Why the hell is it always the same? Useless, pointless, reckless. Shit! I want to shout out loud to the whole world that this is unfair. I want to fucking ask the world why do I feel so moved, different and disappointed. Now, seriously, what is it I'm doing so extremely wrong? My hand and fingers are trembling, my soul is freezing and my heart is cracking. I'm afraid. How can I possibly get over this without struggling this time? Without getting to hurt myself in the midway. I just can't afford losing control again. Not this time and I can feel I am so close to it. I'm broken, somehow terribly broken inside. I am just asking for help but I don't even know how to do it.

Alessia Garnet.